Today at work

So today at work I was standing and thinking about how well I've been doing this project, following the eightfold path and trying to help others. I realized I wasn't doing so good. I would catch myself gossiping, before I started to gossip and still do it- talking about my coworkers or customers as soon as they were out of ear shot and snickering when mean things were said. I also was aware of being careful and discreet in other things that I would say, not lying but omitting things.
I've worked hard without much slacking and in a non harmful way. I've kept the violence to a minimum, although a few slip ups have happened. I've been reflecting on all that I've done this past weekend and thinking I could of done better, been better, and helped others more than I had, being less selfish in the process.
Reflecting on what my life is right now though- I'm not sure I really want to take that step back and look at my life and see it as a whole. Thoughts like- I'm 2 decades old, been dating almost 2 years, made but learned from my mistakes with little to no regrets, made some enemies and made some friends, I'm about to graduate with no direction after just a vague idea of what I might be able to do and no idea how to do it, feel distant from my family and feel like I'm cheating myself and my friends by saying I'm busy all the time when I spend hours online just wasting time doing nothing to progress myself or others. Then I just get lost. Anyways, tired now and heading off to meditate now before bed. Still have studying to do and getting up early to hang eat breakfast before school and final test tomorrow.